Future

What Does The Future Hold? Not knowing how things are going to turn out is a scary thought in any persons mind. Living and knowing that your really UN-sure of how everything is going to take place in the near future. The shear thought of this makes me very uncomfortable. I wish i could look forward and see how everything is going to go and set up counter-measures to make things go the way i want them to. Recently I've began to face a real dilemma, I'm coming up on the end of my contract in the United States Marine Corps in July of 2010 and I'm in Afghanistan scheduled to come back April time frame. That means i will April, May and June because i get out in the beginning of July. So i don't really have time to set up a lot of other options. I enjoy the Marine Corps, but its not for me because I'm an Individual and too opinionated. I would really enjoy going back to school, but i also want to get into a career field right away like being a Cop or Fire Fighter but IDK. There is a lot of options but so little time. I guess I'll have to wait and see how things play out.

Back to Blogging!

Gosh, I really don't know where to start at. It's been so long since I've written anything and being in Afghanistan doesn't help at all. I rather enjoy writing and expressing myself every once in while because it sucks because everyone expects me to be this asshole that I'm really not. Maybe eventually i will be able to take off this mask a portray who i actually am.

You can't have your cake and eat it too!

How come it seems like every time something/someone comes around that you really want you cannot have it? What is the point of finally finding something that you think in great or even superfuckindope (Thanks Erika) if you can’t have it? No matter what I seem do there is always something that pops up that I wouldn't mind having but there is always some circumstance on why I can't have it. It almost like god wants to be constantly disappointed. :( I just for once I want to get something that I really have my eye on. It's ridiculous that even the things that you find most perfect are almost impossible to get hold of. I gave this whole concept a lot of thought and I figured out maybe you can have your cake and eat it too. Maybe instead of just looking at what you cannot have, maybe you have to just take it. I don't mean take it in the since of stealing, but as in trying your best to get it. Maybe if we stopped telling ourselves we can’t have something and just make a plan on how we can reach it we will be able to have our cake and eat it too!

Normal Guys Vs ME!

I often wonder why your typical guy gets enjoyment out of sleeping around with different women. Why do most males pursue females just for a sexual experience? Do most guys really think with their penises? Don't get me wrong sex is a wonderful thing, but it shouldn't be the biggest determining factor in one of your relationships. An orgasm does feel great, but to me it can't compare to the feeling of being truly and deeply loved. You all know the feeling where you do nothing but think about a person constantly. The feeling that when you are apart it actually hurts you. The feeling of time stopping when you two are in each other arms. Those are the feelings I truly live for. To just hold each other and stare deeply into each other’s eyes that is the best feeling. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, which is alright with me. A lot of guys don't do it because of the fear of getting hurt, but I think the possibility of being overprotective and missing the one that is right for you out weights the the possibility of being hurt.

But maybe it's just me........ <3>